5 Ways To Put Your Girlfriend In The Mood For Sex

You have to put her in the right mood so she can do the work. As a guy, you’re probably the one who initiates sex in your relationship. It’s not that your girlfriend isn’t in the mood or doesn’t want as much sex as you do— you’re just the one who rings the dinner bell 99.9 percent of the time.
Why is that? “This comes from many things, but one of them is that women are afraid that if they step out of traditional gender roles, they won’t be seen, accepted, and appreciated as feminine being,” says psychologist and relationship expert Tracy Thomas, Ph.D. “It also becomes another area where she could potentially fail, and be rejected—and most women are terrified of being rejected.”
But you can fix this, Thomas says, by creating an atmosphere in which she doesn’t feel like she needs to be perfect. “You want to get her in the mood—make her horny—but what does that mean?” Thomas says. “What you really want is to make her feel like it’s safe for her to let go, like she can surrender to her sexual desires.”
Here are five tips to get her in the mood, so much so, that she’ll come onto you.
Start early
Seduction starts long before any clothes come off, notes relationship expert April Masini of AskApril.com. “Women are a lot slower to warm up, so if you start their engines early and often, you’re more likely to score later,” she says.
If you want her to be in the mood later, start foreplay (or, well, a PG-13-rated version of it) in the morning, before you leave for work. Don’t overdo it—the idea is to plant a seed in her mind and leave her wanting more, not annoy her with over-the-top romance while she’s trying to do her makeup. Keep it up throughout the day with a short, strategically-timed text message or phone call, and by the time you get home she’ll be ready to jump you.
Choose your battles
Arguments don’t make for a very sexy atmosphere (unless you’re in a movie), so would it kill you to just let it go? “Being right is sometimes the obstacle to being happy, and often the obstacle to romance,” Masini explains. “If there’s the potential for argument on the table, just ask yourself if this really is the hill you want to die on.”
Obviously, if you’re arguing about something important—such as your relationship—it’s another story. But if it’s just a heated discussion about politics, or world peace, or pirates versus ninjas, then giving in to her point of view, at least temporarily, will do wonders for keeping her in the mood.

Help her de-stress
This shouldn’t come as a surprise, but it’s hard for her to get in the mood when she’s under a mountain of stress. “When we’re under stress, we’re primarily designed to not seek out pleasure,” Thomas says. “It’s a survival instinct. Something is wrong, so we have to fix it!”
It sounds simple enough, but Thomas says the key is to help her de-stress in a constructive way—not just help her check off boxes on her endless to-do list. “If she says she can’t relax because she has to clean the bathroom, that’s not necessarily your cue to clean the bathroom,” Thomas explains. “It probably wouldn’t hurt, but once you’re done she’ll remember that she has to clean the kitchen, and so forth. It’s less about cleaning the house and more about helping her see that a clean house doesn’t need to take priority over the relationship.” So pursue that track with her— you’re happy to clean up once you’ve had some quiet time with her.
Make her pleasure a priority
Be generous in bed, and you will find that sexual success is yours, Masini explains. “She wants to feel good in bed, and if she does, she’ll want to please you—and have more sex,” she says. If you haven’t figured out what she likes in bed, you should make that a priority, stat! Luckily, it’s as simple as asking her, providing you ask her when you’re not between the sheets. “If you think she’s holding back, coax it out of her by opening the conversation when you’re not in bed,” Masini suggests. “That way, she’ll feel like the pressure is off.” Ultimately, your goal is to have as much sex as possible, Masini says. “It sounds stupid, but the more sex you have, the more sex you’ll have. It’s a lot easier for her to be in the mood to initiate when sex is a regular part of your lives.”
Pick up on her cues
You want her to initiate sex more often? Don’t shut her down when she tries—even if her attempt is pretty half-assed. “The first time, or times, she initiates, she’s going to be nervous that you might reject her,” Thomas says. “For the most part, women are not used to being rejected when it comes to sex, so it’s really important that you do not, under any circumstances, give any indication that she needs to do it better, or initiate more often when she’s in the middle of initiating.”
It’s basic behavioral conditioning, Thomas explains: She initiates, you are super-positive about that, and she’ll do it again and again.
Culled From MensHealth

Meet the married couples who never have sex but insist they're happy

When married couples live like brother and sister. No sex for years and they insist they are happy. Are they deluded - or just honest? Read and tell us what you think...

Most evenings, with their little girl safely tucked up in bed, Charlotte and Chris Everiss (pictured right) enjoy a kiss and a cuddle on the sofa in front of the television.

Happily married for a decade, the couple cannot bear to even imagine their lives without one another. Yet, astonishingly, they haven’t made love for more than two years.

Both insist that their marriage, which followed a two-year courtship after meeting on a dating website, is stronger than most. It’s just that sex, they say, is not important to their happiness.

‘We still turn each other on but we don’t want to take it any further,’ says Charlotte. ‘We don’t have the time or the energy.

‘I find it hard switching off knowing that our four-year-old, Addison, is in the next bedroom. I think if Chris really missed sex he would tell me, or I’d catch him watching porn on the internet as a substitute.

‘But he doesn’t seem to want to go back to having sex, either.
‘We sound like Darby and Joan, I know - even though I’m only 34 and Chris is 40 - but that, to us, is contentment.'


Charlotte and Chris, it seems, aren’t the only ones whose sex life has dwindled to nothing. A recent survey estimated that 15 to 20 per cent of couples have sexless relationships - defined by experts as making love fewer than ten times a year - while around 5 per cent go without altogether.

Actress Helen Mirren spoke for many of these couples earlier this year when she said: ‘I think the power of partnership in marriage is under-recognised in our society. That’s what makes marriages  work, not sex.’


In a sex-obsessed society, where everyone - young, old, male and female - seems to be boasting of how many times a week they ‘do it’, it may come as a relief to many that couples like Charlotte and Chris are happy to admit that sex plays no part in their marriages at all.

Most couples who find themselves at a point where sexual intimacy has died tend to confide their predicament to no one at all. But today three brave couples reveal to Femail how they have learned to live contented lives without sex.

You don’t need a degree in psychology to work out why Charlotte, a social media consultant from Great Wyrley, Staffordshire - who in the early years of her marriage made love to her husband three times a week - may have problems surrounding sex.

Three years ago, when their daughter was 18 months old, Charlotte almost died after an ectopic pregnancy resulted in her having a partial hysterectomy during a six-hour operation. Since then, she and Chris have made love only once, around ten months after her loss, an encounter from which she derived no pleasure.

Chris is understanding about her aversion to sex. ‘It can be hard knowing that our cuddles will never lead to anything more intimate,’ he says. ‘Charlotte is a gorgeous woman and I’m still very attracted to her, but she nearly died and I count my blessings every day that she’s even still here.’

‘I have an hour-long commute at either end of my working day so, to be honest, most of the time I’m too tired for sex anyway.’

Chris, a digital marketing manager, says he doesn’t discuss with friends the absence of sex from his marriage, but believes it is more common than people admit.
‘I don’t know that we’re all that different from other couples, we’re just more open about it,’ he says.

In all other respects, the Everisses have an enviable lifestyle. They live in a beautiful, four-bedroom detached home, have a Mini Cooper convertible and a VW Golf parked on the driveway, and enjoy several foreign holidays a year.

Tracey Dowler, 42, (pictured above with husband) spent several months worrying that husband Julian, 55, didn’t want to make love to her because he was attracted to other women. But she has now accepted that the stress of his demanding job as director of a motor mechanical and haulage company is the reason they no longer have sex.

And, while she admits there have been times when she has felt like walking out of their immaculate, three-bedroom semi-detached home in Rugby, Warwickshire, over the lack of intimacy, Tracey values other aspects of their marriage too highly.

‘We got married in 2007 after only knowing each other for six months, so it was pretty whirlwind,’ says Tracey, a wedding fair organiser. ‘When we were dating, we’d have sex up to three times a night, which was wonderful, but after the wedding we only made love once or twice a week. We started going months between encounters and now we haven’t made love for well over a year.’

Tracey still feels very attracted to her husband, and he says the same of her. The couple are loving in other ways, holding hands when they go out together, kissing one another goodnight before going to sleep and saying “I love you” at the end of telephone conversations.

But Julian has 40 employees under him and says his job has become far more demanding in the years since their wedding. He gets up at 4am to start work at 5am, puts in a 12-hour day and, as he is on 24-hour call, his phone often rings several times during the night with drivers needing advice.
Weekends are no more relaxing as Julian also runs a photography business, which he is hoping will take off enough for him to concentrate on it full time.

They are both keen to have a family together. They’ve had IVF and plan to have another round of it in August.

‘We talk about rekindling our love life but never seem to get around to it,’ says Julian. ‘We had a weekend away at a country hotel a couple of weeks ago and I was so exhausted I spent most of the time asleep.’

Julian regards Tracey as his best friend and soulmate - a fact common, it seems, to many couples enduring sexless marriages - and believes that once he retires they will be able to rekindle some semblance of romance.


Once a couple gets out of the habit of having sex, however, this can be easier said than done.
‘Couples who don’t make love start living like brother and sister or friends and get out of the habit of seeing one another in a sexual way,’ says Relate counsellor Paula Hall. 

‘If both partners want to reintroduce sex, we encourage them to do so slowly, learning how to be sensual with each other and gradually building up to intercourse.’

Culled from UK Daily Mail

Ladies Think Twice Before You Let Go Of Your Guy

Ask yourself, is it worth it? Is another guy worth losing the one you have now? Is flirting with another guy worth seeing your guy feel devastated? Is seeing another guy worth seeing your guy cry? Is cheating on your guy with another guy worth making him feel hurt? Is lying to your guy about the other guy worth the disappointment from him when he'll hear it from other people? Is leaving the guy who's always been there for you for some guy who ruined the relationship worth it?

 Now think of where you are going, is it gonna be a bed of roses? Won’t you face misunderstandings which might even be terrible than the ones you want to escape, is the guy you are gonna date a heaven sent angel that he is perfect in everything? Are you really determined that you won’t regret?

Come on you guys built this relationship for so long now why quitting it? Don’t you think there are very many single ladies out there who are willing to replace you? Think about it before you move on.